Tag Archives: Teen Violence

Good Love vs. Bad Love

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Is there a difference between Good and Bad Love?

Abso-freaking-lutely!

February is Teen Dating Violence awareness month. Did you know that 1 in 3 teens has been abused in a dating relationship?

ONE IN THREE!!

If you have kids, think about your child and two of their friends together. One of them is likely to have already been abused, or will be. I don’t know about you, but that’s just wrong to me on so many levels. I have a fourteen year old, and we talk about it often. I make sure she knows the signs of abuse, and I watch her carefully when she not only talks about herself, but about her friends.

Did you know that only 1 in 9 will seek help? WHAT? One in nine! And with that only 33% of abused teens have ever told anyone. So three out of 9 told someone, but those other two who didn’t get help probably made the person they told promise not to say anything. I mean, teens like secrets, and swearing on each others privacy, right? Oh, no!

Abuse isn’t something to keep secret. Nope. Not when you are 6, 12, 18, 23, 37, 49, or 70. Abuse is never okay to keep secret.

 

But let’s talk about some of the signs of Teen Dating Abuse. This is a list of WARNING SIGNS:

  • Checking your cell phone or email without permission (Digital Abuse)
  • Constantly putting you down
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolating you from family or friends (HUGE WARNING SIGN)
  • Making false accusations
  • Mood swings
  • Physically hurting you in any way
  • Possessiveness
  • Telling you what to do

Let me just give you a few facts to keep in mind:

  • Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, almost triple the national average.
  • Among female victims of intimate partner violence, 94% of those age 16-19 and 70% of those age 20-24 were victimized by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Violent behavior often begins between the ages of 12 and 18.

So what do you do if you think your child, or your friends child is being abuse?

YOU SAY SOMETHING!!

To them, their parents, a teacher, someone who can help that young person see that what is happening is abusive and they do not deserve that. Because let’s face it, victims think they deserve it. I did. I know a lot of other survivors who say they thought the same thing. So we need to make sure they know they are not the cause, they are the victim.

Want more information? Check out?http://www.loveisrespect.com where they talk in depth about dating violence and abuse. They have some great resources there, too! They also have a QUICK EXIT in case you’re a victim who is looking for help and your abuser shows up in the room.

Here are two quizzes they offer to see if you are in a healthy relationship or advice on how you can help.

Like this one – A Healthy Relationship Quiz!

Or this one – How Would You Help?

Author Stacy Eaton is a very strong Advocate of Domestic Violence Awareness and helping victims to be come survivors. She herself is a survivor and has written several books dealing with the intense subject: Whether I’ll Live or Die, You’re Not Alone and Barbara’s Plea, along with a New Adult story about finding confidence in yourself, Finding the Strength.

Teaching the Younger Generation – Domestic Violence is NOT O.K.

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Recently, a friend of mine sent me a note about a post she read and thought I would enjoy. I jumped over to read the blog post, and low and behold there was a topic that was near and dear to my heart – Abuse.? I’m going to thank Bibliophile for her great blog post and invite you all to read it: http://ow.ly/mZjwu

In the post I mentioned above, Bibliophile talks about the number of authors she has noticed that write Young Adult or New Adult Romance that seem to romanticize abusive behavior.? Teens or young adults that are dealing with a counterpart who is overly jealous or controlling and they accepts this. ? Well guess what – NOT in my book and I’m not just talking about the pages I write – I’m talking about life, pure and simple.

Controlling behavior, no matter now trivial, can be a sign of worse to come. No young woman, older woman or even man, should allow their partner to be controlling.? It is NOT okay to say who you can be friends will, unless that other person is a sociopath, then I can see someone saying you can’t be friends with them. But under normal circumstances, it is not alright to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that being friends with someone from the opposite sex is wrong. Being jealous and forcing your boyfriend or girlfriend to choose YOU instead of someone else, is not right.? They either like you or they don’t. If they don’t, bye-bye, I doubt there is a person alive that has not heard, there are other fish in the sea to choose from.

It is also not right if your boyfriend/girlfriend has the need to read your text messages, or emails. Hello, this is private. Don’t let them threaten you if you won’t allow them to read what you said to a friend. They have no right to tell you what you are allowed to wear, where you are allowed to go, who you can be friends with, or what you are allowed to do. And if you think they can – then you are allowing the abuse and you need to stop.

As an author it is my responsibility to entertain people.? As a police officer it is my responsibility to protect people. Put those two together and you get a life lesson.? That is some thing that I put into Whether I’ll Live or Die.? And it is something I am putting into another novel called, You’re Not Alone.? Not only am I trying to entertain my readers, but I am trying to teach a lesson – empower someone to understand and overcome.? Now that this topic has come to light, I have a burning desire to start a new lesson – and direct it towards the younger generation. The thoughts are dwelling – and I hope to start working on this very soon.